The Cows Part 2

“Go to law for a sheep and lose your cow” – German Proverb

The Cows Part 1:

So now that everything has settled down, I am faced with my original problem; how do I get close to the things to be able to photograph them? Not so easy, particularly when you’ve frightened them half to death. I did have a slight advantage, I did smell very similar to them, after all that’s what deer stalkers do if they want to get close to the deer; try and smell like them, but the cows were having none of it. OK, so my gait was not to dissimilar to that of John Wayne due to my family jewels having done a tour of my lower stomach, and I did look like the “Dung Monster from the deep lagoon”, but come on girls play ball.

After about 10 minutes of what felt like “cow tig” I gave up and decided to photograph the thingy me jig they eat from.

Now if you’re anything like me who, once found a subject to photograph, will get so engrossed in the setting up will completely block the rest of the world out. I’ve even been taken to talking to myself at times: “hum, this will look good in black and white” “what if I use the wide angle and get down low” you know know the situation.

So imagine my surprise when about 10 minutes into the shoot I feel, what I can only describe as the snort of a sumo wrestler behind me. Ohhhh shit! me thinks, were there any bulls in with that lot. Had he come to seek retribution for the panic I’d put his little ladies through earlier. Escape routes Paul, think! I could get into the thingy me jig they eat from and wait till the owners come. Could I run quick enough, but then I would have that damn fence again plus my camera bag was behind me. May I also point out at this stage what colour my sweat shirt was, RED; redder than a man with a lot of red’s selling red to the village of Redsville. Things were not looking good.

Now, have you ever had those moments where you think all is lost, that this is your last day on earth and then, out of the blue you hear, right at the back of your mind, a little voice that gives you the answer; “use the fill flash on the camera Paul Skywalker, use the fill flash”. So I yank the flash up full force and slowly depress the shutter release in readiness for what is about to happen. With my bottom lip quivering like I’d just left the dentist; and I think I was talking in touges, I turn around as slowly as I could.
POW! and this is the photograph I got. Daisy (that’s what I’ve decided to call her) and all her friends had their head in my camera bag.

So the moral of the story is: Cows don’t get their reputation for nothing. Nosey cow is not a bad rap for them because that is exactly what they are, nosey. If you ever want to take photos of cows, just sit there and they will come to you.

Oh! And watch out for any small inconspicuous wires, they’re not healthy to anyone planning a family in the future.

The Cows Part 1:

“He who wants milk should not sit in the middle of a field and wait for a cow to back up to him” – Proverb
Yet he who wants photographs of cows, that’s exactly what you should do.

The Cows Part 1: So there I was minding my own business when an old lady in the village knocks on the door and asks if I could take some photos of her cows before they are brought in for winter.

Um, me thinks, never done them; dogs – only Poppy (our pet dog) really, our cat before he died, but never done cows before; not really an animal photographer. Yesterday I was photographing motorbike parts for a local engineering firm, which I also have never done before and today cows, diverse if anything.

So off I wander to the cow pasture thinking how I’m going to do this; they always seem to run away when I get near and my telephoto isn’t really long enough. Never mind we’ll see what happens.

The first hurdle; how do I get into the field, the gate was shut. Never mind me thinks, I’ll straddle this small wire fence near the stream in the corner of the field, no problem; wrong!

The first I became aware that the small wire was in fact live was when my right nut shot into my stomach. Now I’m not sure if this was a spasm or a normal bodily reaction, but just as my right nut was entering orbit around my Adams apple, my left leg was circumnavigating my head, this obviously threw me off balance and down the small incline. That wouldn’t have been to bad, I mean cow dung can always be washed out, can’t it? And it doesn’t smell that bad; well not according to Poppy anyway, but in a last ditch effort to stop the tumbling I inadvertently grabbed the rest of the wire running perpendicular to the one that had sent 10 zillion volts through my family jewels. My body is still tingling and I’m not going to mention how my jewels feel, but the resulting squeal, which is probably the best word I can use, obviously scared the living s!*t out of the cows. All I can say is thank God the gate was closed. The resulting stampede would have put Raw Hide to shame and probably would have made the national papers, if not the news: “Cows run amuck in quite country village” I’m just glad they ran in the other direction because there was no way I was going to jump over that fence again.

Anyway, they settle down a bit, I also stopped shaking and was able to time the uncontrollable spasms I seemed to be having long enough for me to take a few photos before the light went on me.

Mothers Milk

I have a birthday party to go tonight, so will finish off this story tomorrow.

Have a nice weekend!

Spring is Not Far Off

Now, to many of you out there in blog land this might be an ordinary, maybe slightly over developed photo of Daffodils, especially considering the quality and quantity of flower pictures uploaded to Flickr every nanosecond. But to me these are special, and here are the reasons why you will enjoy this photo:
A. I’m not a flower power photographer
B. You don’t normally see wild daff’s in our neck of the woods
C. There should have been 6 daff’s but I slipped down the side of the hill and crushed one
D. I was freezing and now wet and muddy.
E. My tripod was 100 MTS further down the now mountain (well it is if you have to clamber down and fetch it)
F. My bloody battery light was blinking at me again (I need a new one).
G. I haven’t got an all singing all dancing MACRO lens (vital flower power accessory); so had to focus by moving (slipping) manually in and out (Houdini would have been proud of me).
H. I took ONE bleeding photo and the camera said NO (I’ve been here before).
The dog loved this bit
I. As I clambered up the North face of the Matterhorn, I grabbed, what I thought was a healthy mature branch, only to hear it snap with a clarity that echoed through the forest startling every living thing within miles. I then proceeded to join my tripod, slowed only by the thoughtful planting of new pine sprigs by the forester; which incidentally, just happen to fit perfectly between your legs.
Looking like I had just survived the 1st world war without having a bath; I finally got back to the summit, only to discover that my brand new shutter release cable was no longer attached to the camera. And may it rest in peace cus’ I aint getting it. Oh and my computer froze when I uploaded the photo’s from the camera.
But the main reason this ordinary Daffodil photo is special to me;
J. Because it means that SPRING IS NOT FAR OFF. so enjoy